buffaBLOG's Last Minute Gift Guide



So it's that time of year again. No, it's not Holiday Shopping Time; that ship has sailed, buddy. It's officially Last Minute Holiday Shopping Time, and if you're as much of a hardened procrastinator as me (I was supposed to post this article yesterday), then welcome to the club. But it's not too late to hunt-and-gather gifts for your loved ones. And you don't even have to resort to gift cards again this year. Here are a few last-minute, music-related suggestions for having a wonderfully commercialized Christmas 2011.

Impersonal: Gift Cards

Yeah, you know what? Just do the gift card thing. They're thoughtless, so they allow you much needed “Me” time. Plus, they don't QUITE scream “Get Bent!” as loudly as a stack of lottery tickets. But let's just pretend for a second that you care about the recipient: get a gift card that incorporates the one justification for our miserable human existence: Music.

Is your recipient a radio-head who just wants the latest urban contemporary single like they want a new pair of designer jeans? Get them an iTunes gift card so they can blow it on the latest Drake track, and then forget about it two and a half weeks later. Or if your recipient is always telling you about the latest mediocre band they found out about on Pandora, don't be all like, “Oh my god who cares,” be all like, “Hey, here's a subscription with no ads!” Or, if they're an underground DJ (go-o-o mash-ups!), give them the gift of unapologetic self-importance with an unlimited Soundcloud account! (Note: buffaBLOG prefers to embed Soundcloud clips over almost any other music-sharing service. Pro Tip. Become a buffaBLOG “fave” for 2012!)


"Mash-ups: More beautiful than Mozart."


Classy: Vinyl

Vinyl records sure as heck ain't dead. But a lot of the people who once owned them are. Which means that any record store you ever enter is going to be stuffed with a non-rotating supply of Old-Timey (pre-1981) material.

I bet that if you make the trip to Record Baron (3048 Delaware Ave), the Record Baron Himself will help you figure out exactly which Sinatra Christmas Album is better than all the other Sinatra Christmas Albums. Got a new significant other in your life? Pick up any Marvin Gaye (pref. What's Going On), and I promise you that your baby-mama wont be kissing Santa Claus this year. Want to head in a more Ironic/Slightly-Better-Than-Lottery-Tickey direction? Dig for Bruce Willis' The Return of Bruno. Dig, and you shall succeed (at accruing venomous hatred).


Don't watch this; just know that it exists.


DIY: Illegal Bootlegs

You don't have to open the wallet or type out sixteen digits/security code/billing address to make the season special this year. Tell your loved one “I love you enough to make bold presumptions about your aesthetic tastes but not enough to blow my unemployment check on you” with a wildly illegal bootleg. Download the utorrent client and hit up Pirate Bay (ask your “computer friend” how), or just Google “[insert album name] .zip” to find anything you could ever dream of. Add a dash of personalization by recreating the album artwork by hand, or even Sharpie the name on the CD-R in cool handwriting.

Or you could get Super Old-Timey (pre-2010) and scour the wasteland that is eBay for some seemingly legit bootlegs. Suggestion: there's a 7-inch of pre-'77 Talking Heads demos floating around under the name The Psycho Killers. Get sketchy, friend, and Merry Christmas.


"By the way, you owe me 47 cents for that blank CD."

steve gordon

2 comments

  1. Amazing post!

  2. I know not to get you Dark Side of The Moon now...The Wall it is!

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