So, some of our writers are also,
incidentally, in local bands. Said bands don't get any special
treatment from this blog, but there's always the fear of conflicting
interests, so we try to be transparent as possible when it comes up.
So, to sort of clear the air and masturbatorily hype my own bands at
the same time, I sat down to interview local guitarist Steve Gordon –
who, by the way, IS me. I'm Steven Gordon. Here's what I had to say:
buffaBLOG: So, Steve – is Steve okay,
or do you prefer Steven?
Steven: Well, I always say it doesn't
matter, but I actually prefer Steven. It has more syllables, so
people have to really commit to it when addressing me.
buffaBLOG: Okay, so, Steve. You play in
some local bands, or like, something, right?
Steven: Yes, I play with the bands
ronaldraygun and Merchants. And some others, too, but I haven't gone
to practice in a while or put in any effort, and their “band funds”
are at zero, so I don't know.
buffaBLOG: And you write for buffaBLOG?
And, ARE me?
Steven: (laughs) Haha, yeah, I write
for buffaBLOG. And, I “am” you. I'm actually writing this right
now, incidentally.
buffaBLOG: Weird. Anyway, you are
active in two bands; what are they like?
Steven: Well, Steve, ronaldraygun is a
loud, boisterous band where I get to channel my love for Devo and Jay
Reatard on a guitar and make a lot of noise. Merchants, on the other
hand, are a grungy indie rock band where I do more Johnny Greenwood
type things. I play the “guitynthesizer” with them.
buffaBLOG: What is a guitynthesizer? I
mean, I know already, but can you say it so I don't have to
explain it to drunk people right after we finish playing?
Steven: The guitynthesizer is where you
run a guitar through the vocoder on a synth, and use both instruments
as a means to manipulate the other. I used to play the guitynthesizer
for ronaldraygun, but stopped when I got sick of plugging in all those
wires before shows. And, now, I'm stuck fucking doing that again.
buffaBLOG: Are there any other major
differences between the two bands?
Steven: Definitely. 'raygun wears big
sunglasses, while Merchants wear stripes and plaid. Also, I'm sorry,
this is distracting me: you're really handsome. Like, REALLY
handsome. I just had to say that.
buffaBLOG: Don't you think I know that?
Let's get back on track, Steve. Our blog has written about both of
your bands before, a few times. Do we only write about your bands
because you are involved with the blog?
Steven: No, and actually, it's sort of
the other way around, or vice versa kinda. ronaldraygun had already
received some favorable write-ups from buffaBLOG months before I
was asked to start contributing. And the blog had been writing about
Merchants for almost a year before I snuggled up with those dudes and
got asked to join. I play music and I also HAPPEN to be a good
writer. Also: handsome.
buffaBLOG: So you don't think you get
any special treatment?
Steven: Definitely not. buffaBLOG is
all voluntary. You guys write about whatever you want whenever you
want, pretty much, and if the writers don't have anything nice to say
about a band or record or show, they don't say anything. A bunch of
them happen to be in bands, too, and sometimes we write about each
others' bands because it happens to be a small city and the bands
happen to be pertinent. Sometimes it's on accident. It's hard to keep
track; I actually don't even really know a lot of the other writers.
buffaBLOG: That's because you didn't
attend the mandatory staff kegger a few weeks back. Why was that? Why
didn't you go?
Steven: To be honest, I wasn't sure if
there was actually going to be a keg, or if they were just being
ironic. And I couldn't risk going there if there wasn't going to be
booze. Also, I hadn't discovered any obscure bands to brag about in a
while, so I thought that would be kinda awkward.
buffaBLOG: Okay, so as long as we're
getting all ostensibly conflict-of-interesty, do you have any
upcoming shows you'd like to plug?
Steven: Yup! I'm glad you asked.
Tonight, I'm playing with ronaldraygun AND Merchants at Nietzsche's
for Sparky's Bad Ass Birthday Bash, along with Like A Panther, and
Shaken Stylus will be spinning records between sets. It should be
fun, but I'll be all stressed and pissy from carrying gear and
plugging in wires. Tell your readers to believe the hype and to come
out!
buffaBLOG: I just did. One last
question. But, well, it's kinda weird...
Steven: What is it?
buffaBLOG: No, it's just, it's...
Steven: You can say it. I'm your
friend.
buffaBLOG: Well. Would you like to,
like, make out?
Steven: I thought you'd never ask.
lol wut