On Relating To Music At Age 23


Like many, many others, I started to really get into music right around the time I started high school. The year before was when I first took in interest in anything that wasn't played on the radio, and as I dug deeper and deeper, I found myself spending nearly every dollar I had on albums, and taking pride in listening to bands that few, if any, of my classmates had heard of. Like any other sensitive 14-year-old being brutalized by the onslaught of puberty, music became the most important thing in my life because I identified with it. Paul Westerberg, Thom Yorke, and Michael Stipe said things that crossed my mind on a daily basis, and to this day, their music means the world to me.

This trend basically continued throughout high school, with me exploring various bands and obsessing over them because they allowed me to put my own life into perspective. But then, I graduated high school, and like most people do when at that age, I felt horribly old. I listened to The Beach Boys a lot that year and it scared me than as an 18-year-old, I was probably past the ideal age to get into Pet Sounds. It was ironic; I spent all of high school listening to music to deal with feeling sad, and now, I was sad because it didn't have the same effect anymore.

Now, I'm even older, 23, and nearly old enough to rent ultra-porn and I can safely report that the days of me relating to music with the same intensity that I did as a 14-year-old are likely over. Probably because I have a bit more perspective. If I got shot down by a girl, or a passed over for a job, I still might be bummed about it, but I'm smart enough to know that it's not the worst thing to ever happen to anyone, and that I'll likely recover from the disappointment fairly quickly. The days of moping along to Radiohead for two hours because the girl in my math class just wants to be friends are mercifully over.

This isn't to say that I don't still play the crap out of albums that describe how I'm feeling. There were several songs on Japandroids' Celebration Rock that perfectly captured my mood the first time I heard it. Songs that I describe being young, and chasing dreams but also feeling increasingly insecure that those dreams might come such as "The Nights Of Wine And Roses" were, and still are, the perfect soundtrack for someone finishing college, and still figuring out what they're going to do next. What's different between now and then is the lack of melodrama involved. Relating to music is now something I can do quietly, without freaking out because a musician happened to say something that made sense to me. In a way, this is far more rewarding.

Despite my initial fear that getting older would mean I wouldn't get as much enjoyment out of music, it's actually given me the maturity needed to understand what a songwriter is getting at without instinctively thinking about how it happens to describe what happened to me in gym class last Thursday. When you're 14, you tend to be self-centered, primarily because you're figuring out a lot about yourself at that time, to the point where it can be hard to think about anything else. You're exploring relationships for the first time, and beginning to deal with real world disappointment. And that can be scary, so you need a friend to get you through it. Music is that friend for many people, myself included. But when you get older, you're capable of putting things in perspective, and realizing that you are not the center of the universe. As a result, you are less tempted to instinctively tie every song you listen to your own life, regardless of how tenuous the connection may be. What this means is that when you do relate to music the connection is more genuine, and you can relate to it in a more honest way. I thought the end of my teenage years would me the end of my close relationship with music, but the end, it was just the opposite. In order to get a true understanding of what my favorite bands were saying, I needed to grow up.

   

John Hugar

11 comments

  1. 23 year olds writing reflective pieces make me feel really old

  2. So, you've liked music for almost 9 years now. Tell me more!

  3. Just because you're young doesn't mean you can't have an opinion about music. How closed minded of you guys. Great job John!

  4. maybe i won't grow up, i still mope around to radiohead on a regular basis! :)

  5. This has long been the fear of the aging music lover..."I reach a certain age and I don't feel the same way I used to". Kurt Cobain stated this sentiment in many of his final interviews (and he mentioned it in his suicide note as well). I think it comes down to your ability to adapt and find way's to reach beyond your own confines. People get comfortable listening to the bands or music styles their in, and are too afraid to explore. It's a shame really. There's a wealth of great music...you may not get as excited as you were when you were 12, but you can certainly find new way's to open your ears.

  6. John- Ultra-porn? Just wait till you turn 25 and you're old enough to drink Devil Beer. The only reason I don't mope around to Radiohead anymore is because of King of Limbs. It's not your fault man. When we were in school albums like Transatlanticism, Hail to the Thief, Room on Fire, Elephant, and I'm Wide Awake It's Morning were coming out (what seemed like) every week. These days, unless you're actively seeking good music on your own, it's all Dub Step, Punk Pop and Mumford Bands. The good ones don't just seemingly fall into your lap anymore. I mean it's definitely mostly that thing you said, but it's also mostly that super good music was happening a lot back then, way back 8 or 9 years ago.

  7. well written!

  8. Good Lord. I know you mean well, buddy, but please, next time you're feeling especially profound and reflective about your insightful perspectives as a worldy 23-year-old, stick your head in a sink of cold water for about 7 seconds. Repeat until the urge to share passes.

  9. "Just because you're young doesn't mean you can't have an opinion about music."

    This is true. But that doesn't mean that the world needs to know. A good example of that is a 700 word post on the subject of "It's weird that listening to Japandroids at age 23 isn't quite like listening to Radiohead at age 16."

  10. I'm sure whichever douchebag(s) wrote the comments above know exactly what "the world needs to know." Apparently that includes lame-ass internet comments tearing down someone else's work.

    I know you mean well, buddy but please, next time you're feeling especially profound and reflective about your insightful perspectives as a worldly internet troll on a local music blog, take a brick to your face a couple of times. Repeat until the urge to share passes.


  11. sweet! I got a iTunes Card Code and it redeemed just fine! Check this site out http://freeitunesforever.com

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