Quick - who's the quintessential American band? This is to say, out of all the bands who hail from the US, which one best represents everything America is about, good or bad? It's a tricky question, right? My first thought was The Beach Boys, but then I realized they were more of the quintessential summer band. Aerosmith was considered, until you remember that their primary source of inspiration was the Rolling Stones who are English. In the end, I went with the E Street Band. Sure they are more of a backing band then a true band, but they back up Bruce Springsteen, whose music has always represented the good, the bad, and the ugly of American culture. If there was going to be a summit for the UN of rock n roll, you'd send the Boss, and if he couldn't make it, you'd probably send Steven Van Zandt.

And that's where we arrive at the point of all of this - I wanted to create the United Nations of Rock N Roll - one band to represent each nation. The key here is represent. As in, represent the music, culture and values of their nation better than anyone else. Like, the Beatles and Stones both hail from England, but really, they belong to the world at this point. That's why I'd pick the Kinks as the representative from the United Kingdom. It'd be hard to pick anyone else as the all-time Quintessential British Band. With that said, I'd have Damon Albarn on the sidelines, if Ray Davies was incapable of fulfilling his duties.

How about Canada? You said Rush, didn't you? Wrong again! Don't get me wrong, Geddy and company are Canadian treasures, but they just as easily could have been American nerds. That's why the obvious choice is the Tragically Hip. Those dudes are too Canadian to function! I mean, their lead singer's name Gord Downie, for fuck's sake! No band bleeds maple syrup like these dudes.

A problem just occurred, in the actual UN. The United Kingdom is a single entity, comprising England, Scotland, Wales, and parts of Ireland. That's all well and good, but there's a pretty stark difference between those three areas, and it's certainly noticeable in their respective music. That's why England, Scotland, and Ireland each get individual representatives in the United Nations of Rock. We've already settled on the Kinks, but what about Scotland? In terms of critical respect, you have many options. Belle & Sebastian, Teenage Fanclub, The Jesus & Mary Chain, Franz Ferdinand, and even Chvrches are all worthy of consideration. But remember, it's about representation. No band is more Scottish than the Proclaimers. And by the way, they're actually a really good band. Just because everyone in America just knows them for "I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)," doesn't mean they don't have other good songs. The entire Sunshine On Leith record is fantastic. The proclaimers make the UN of Rock, and they've earned it.

As for Ireland? Anyone but U2. Bono does enough political crap already. I'll take the Cranberries because IN YOUR HEEEAAAAAAAD IN YOUR HEEEEAAAAD ZOMBAAAAY ZOMBAAAAY!!! Nothing reminds us of Ireland's history of political strife quite like that, not even "Sunday Bloody Sunday."

How about Australia? AC/DC are the most popular by far, but their lead singer is Scottish, and there's nothing particularly Australian about them. The clear winner is Men At Work because...well, they come from a land down under. You know the rest so I won't bore you. New Zealand? Well, Lorde is a bit young and she only has one album, so I will take Fight Of The Conchords to provide the group with some comic relief.

For France, I'm taking Air, because Daft Punk don't say anything, and Phoenix aren't really all that French. They share a name with an American city and their lead singer's name is Thomas Mars. Air wins due to Nicholas Godin's strong french accent (just listen to "Surfing On A Rocket,") and the greater number of French song titles.

Germany will be represented by Kraftwerk because no one wants it to be the Scorpions. I can't think of a good one for Italy, but let's just all agree that it's not Lacuna Coil. Mexico would be represented by the immortal Cafe Tacuba, while Os Mutantes would do the honors for Brazil. For fans of 80s World Music, Ladysmith Black Mambazo would represent South Africa, while Youssou N'Dour would do the honors for the Senegal. Okay, there's still plenty of counties left, but I think we're getting somewhere.

When the United Nations of Rock is formed, music will change for the better. We can impose sanctions on Canada for Nickelback and Theory of Deadman, but Australia wouldn't get off the hook for Orianthi. We would likely have a far more efficient way of electing members into the Rock 'N Roll Hall of Fame. There would also be plenty of charity efforts, and Bono would be barred from participating in any of them. Let's make this happen.