Before Saturday's NASCAR Nationwide Series race at Daytona, fans were, umm..."treated" to a performance of "The Star Spangled Banner" by Madison Rising, a band that bills itself as the Most Patriotic Band in America (note: what about America?). The performance quickly made its way across the internet, being billed as the worst rendition of the national anthem of all-time. This was a tall order, as anyone who's ever heard the versions by Roseanne Barr and Carl Lewis can tell you. But that billing managed to live up to the hype, if only because Madison Rising's anthem went exactly the way it was supposed to, and it was hilariously awful.
It starts out nice enough, with a slow instrumental buildup that honestly wouldn't be out of place on an Explosions In The Sky record, but things quickly spiral into an ungodly cauldron of horribleness. Imagine Tenacious D if they were trying to be Nickelback, and you have a pretty good idea of where it's going. The idea of a rock version of the anthem isn't a bad idea, but if Hendrix's version rates at a 10 out of 10, this hellacious atrocity would be a negative 75.
But as bad as the performance was, I had to give them credit for one thing: it sure as hell was memorable. Most national anthem renditions are identical, and their performance before sporting events are something that we put up with because we hate to look unpatriotic, but really, it's all gotten pretty boring. While Madison Rising's anthem wasn't remotely good, it was interesting, and I have to give them credit for that.
Naturally, I was curious to check out the rest of their output, and a brief search of Spotify revealed two albums, both filled with highly questionable post-grunge with lyrics that often espouse conservative political beliefs. Never mind the ever-present irritation of "patriotic" being collapsed to mean "Republican" in the aftermath of 9/11, these songs, much like the anthem, were freaking hilarious.
First off, there's "Right To Bear," a pro-gun tune, which presents confronting an intruder with a rifle as the Most Totally Awesome Thing Ever, Bro! The situation is largely presented in action movie terms, which just reminds us that a lot of the pro-gun crowd is desperate to find a situation where their ownership of a gun can make them a hero (*cough, George Zimmerman, cough*).
The most ridiculous song, though, has to be "In The Days That Reagan Ruled," which, without the slightest trace of irony, presents Ronald Reagan's America as the most perfect utopia in the history of mankind where everything was beautiful and nothing hurt. Because, remember, no one was poor when Reagan was president, all the Democrats and their generous social programs did that.
A close second on the silliness scale would be "Before The Hyphens Came," which posits that if we would just stop using the phrase "African-American," we'd achieve complete and total racial unity. The naivete on display here mind-boggling. Frankly, the band barely seems real. Like, it must be some sort of elaborate hipster joke, where a much of straight-edge vegan dudes from obscure hardcore bands started this group as a joke to make fun of conservatives, and it just spiraled out of control.
As far as I know, though, Madison Rising are a completely real band, started by Dave Bray, as former Marine (note: his military service is the one thing I won't make fun of him for), who seems to genuinely believe he's spreading the gospel of America. I've never met Bray, but I'd imagine he's something close to a real life version of Stan Smith from American Dad.
But while I'm really not a fan of the music - the style or the message - I honestly have a begrudging respect for Bray and his bandmates. Why? Because they clearly don't give a fuck about what people like me think. In the unlikely event that Bray reads this article, he'll probably write me off as a just another snarky left-wing hipster who's just jealous, and that's fine. Madison Rising are playing for a very limited audience. Even if people enjoy their post-grunge style, their far-right politics will likely turn off many potential fans. And they don't seem to give a shit. And really, isn't that pretty fucking punk rock? Yes, they might be raging for the machine, but their making music for a necessarily small audience because that's what they want to do. And I respect that. But they still fucking suck.
ha ha great article, John. thanks for your candor. it's refreshing
ha ha great article, John. thanks for your candor. it's refreshing
amen brother, the only reason more people don't scream about this band sucking, is they've got guns.. and as you mentioned with the "when Reagan..". song, they're delusional , not in the same reality. also, when they refer to communist in Hollywood, isn't true patriotism about the love of ones country? doesn't that mean that if you love this country, which I do believe in, that you'd have to respect others opinions? or at least, their right to say it, I mean, the freedom of speech, means the freedom of ignorance..but not to offend, my eardrums.. i think there's a vast right-wing superpac thing, and a bunch of moronic, non talented, nimrods, However, I will say they understand, at least in part, Capitalism, probably the only part of this country's greatness. that they understand, as even i had to pay a dollar to listen to this. . garbage.. I've heard better talent at the eagles lodge at one AM on karaoke night/
-r
This band represents everything rock and roll is not. Contrived garbage butt-rock that hides behind the military and the flag, weak, feeble and awful in every way.