The Grammys are sort of like a combination of a circle jerk and a dreamless sleep. It's an opportunity for the Recording Industry Association of America to excessively congratulate itself, but it really, really doesn't matter at all or mean anything. Every year, they hand out entirely too many awards to musicians, songwriters, and engineers who've produced stuff that almost always falls somewhere between “Boring!” and “I So Don't Care.” on the empirical Quality-In-Music spectrum.

At last night's ceremony, there was a bit of a head-scratching moment when Bon Iver collected the award for “Best New Artist.” For those keeping score at home, that's Bon Iver, the group who released their debut in 2008. (MGMT was nominated for the same award in 2010, three years after they dropped their first record.) If you read through lists of winners over the years, you'll see the RIAA has a history of ineptitude when it comes to this stuff. Check out these boners:

5) Creed's “With Arms Wide Open” – Best Rock Song

Pearl Jam pulled it off. Stone Temple pilots had a good spin on it. Live was passable, if not a bit goofy. Then inexcusable acts like Nickelback and Creed took the 90s trend of curling your tongue up when you sing, and added their signature Dick Rock to make some of the worst music to ever hit ears. That they won the award for Best Rock Song in 2001 is appalling, but not surprising, since they probably sold a billion copies of it, which also is appalling.

4) Milli Vanilli – Best New Artist

In 1989, pop duo Milli Vanilli was on top of the world. Their hit “Girl You Know It's True” went 6x Platinum, and they took home the Grammy for Best New Artist in 1990. Then it was revealed, in a disasterous live gaff, that the performers were lip-syncing and weren't the actual singers – just a couple hot dudes who could dance. They had to give the Grammy back, and there were some lawsuits blah blah blah, then everyone forgot about it, and the RIAA kindly went back to giving awards to tons of other artists who don't actually make their own music.

3) Baha Men's “Who Let the Dogs Out?” – Best Dance Recording

Ah, remember Baha Men? And their hit “Who Let the Dogs Out?” Remember? It was nice, you know, for the kids, so it made sense when they won a Nickelodeon Kids Choice Award for it. But then they won a Grammy, too. You know when a sucky person hits on you at the bar, and you kinda want to humor them to get a free drink, but they're a really sucky person, and you're drunk but you know better than to positively sanction their suckiness? Well, the Grammys must be VERY drunk. And the fact that the song beat Eiffel 65's “Blue (Da Ba Dee)” means that at some point, someone had to intentionally choose between Baha Men and Eiffel 65, which makes me substantially uncomfortable in my own skin.

2) Black Eyed Peas – like, every award

Before Fergie joined the Black Eyed Peas, they were actually a pretty decent, abstract hip hop outfit. Then they must have read that Mencken quote (“No one ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public”), and decided to kick out a couple of the dudes, hire on a hot lady, and switch to making terrible pop. Then they sold 65 million records and won about a thousand Grammys! Go-ooo, American Public!

1) Talking Heads' Speaking in Tongues – Best Recording Package

This Grammy nod is more frustrating than baffling. Talking Heads were one of the goodest bands, like, ever, and the only time they won a Grammy was for the packaging of 1983's Speaking in Tongues. It's a cool package, yeah, but I promise that if you play the record itself, the sounds are even cooler.