If anyone cares, Eric Clapton just released his 20^th studio album, Old Sock. Clapton, of course, can basically roll out of bed and record an album any time he pleases, which may be what happened here. He may have risen from bed a week ago wearing nothing but an old sock and said to himself, “Damn, my date for brunch just bailed, maybe I’ll get the boys together and record an album instead.”

Old Sock is a 12-track collection of songs, but only two of them are originals. To steal from Wikipedia, the rest of the songs on Old Sock are “covers of some of his favorite songs from childhood to current day.” What I’d give to reach that point as a musician: I can only imagine the feeling that would accompany recording a cover of “Itsy Bitsy Spider” and having fans absolutely eat it up.

The internet is buzzing with words like “cozy” and “comfortable” to describe this album. I really don’t know about that. I would use the words “cozy” and “comfortable” to describe either a piece of furniture or a Slanket, and in a pinch I could probably use those words to describe “You Look Wonderful Tonight,” but I wouldn’t use those words to describe Old Sock. Instead, I’d use words like “umm” or “okay, I guess this is interesting.” Old Sock is Eric Clapton meets Jimmy Buffett. Picture Eric Clapton lounging on a beach in Key West on a Wednesday afternoon just fucking around with his guitar, and you’ll have an idea what Old Sock sounds like.

Now, Eric Clapton fucking around with his guitar is still Eric Clapton fucking around with his guitar. There are enough moments on Old Sock to remind you that it’s a toss-up between Clapton and Jimi Hendrix as the best guitarist of all-time, but since Hendrix has been dead for over 40 years (wow), what Old Sock becomes is the best guitarist on the planet sitting around playing lazy covers of his favorite songs. And if you think about it that way, it really shouldn’t be bad.

But the question isn’t whether or not it’s good or bad; the question is who is listening to this album? I love island music and I love Eric Clapton. I also love tuna fish sandwiches and shots of whiskey, but when you try to force the two together it’s just unnecessary and a little weird. That’s Old Sock.

You may be asking “But Joe, what about ‘I Shot the Sheriff,’ the Bob Marley cover that Clapton killed it on? Was that also unnecessary and a little weird?” And I’d say "shut up and stop asking me questions," while conceding that that’s a heck of a point. But that was back in 1974, when Clapton had, let’s just say, a little more pep in his step and cocaine in his nose. He was on another level back then. Old Sock Eric Clapton is 67 years old and just trying to stay somewhat active.

So listen up, Eric, if you’re reading this. I’m only going to judge you on your original songs, “Gotta Get Over,” and “Every Little Thing.” You’re still slaying it on “Gotta Get Over.” It’s really nothing like the rest of the songs on the album, in that it actually sounds like the old you. But as for “Every Little Thing,” well, I automatically dismiss any song that features a group of little kids singing. Except “Like Toy Soldiers,” by Eminem; that song is incredible. “Every Little Thing” is just creepy.

The closest he comes to making this album work is on the second track “Angel,” a laid-back song with soft vocals, sprinkled with plenty of Clapton-esque blues-guitar riffs. It’s melodic and textured; it would be a great song to listen to in the summer on a patio.

Check out the picture below, which was taken about 8 years ago, back when I carried a little extra weight and had extremely questionable taste in sunglasses and facial hair. At that point in my life I was a casual Eric Clapton fan and listened to reggae pretty much non-stop. Where was “Angel” back then? I mean, look at that picture! It’s almost identical to the album cover, right down to the wry smile! At that point in my life, I’m guessing I would’ve listened to Old Sock an unhealthy amount of times. Now I’m just going to forget about this album and do other things with an old sock an unhealthy amount of times.  

Grade:  C-