Gucci Mane
just released a new album called Traphouse
III. As you can probably imagine, it iss horrible. It is meant to be big and
loud and bold but fails miserably. With the exception of maybe one or two songs, every beat is
generic and awful. So in lieu of an actual review, here is a collection of
context-free lyrics from Traphouse III:
“Come home and I hit it hard/and she gives
me head/that’s concussion”
The only way
this lyric makes any sense is if the woman in question is giving him head so
violently that she is concussing herself, which is disturbing.
“Just bought my wife a pair of glass
shoes/cause her ass thick as a pumpkin”
Clearly he’s
never seen Cinderella because the nicer gesture would’ve been giving her a pair
of white horses to pull around that pumpkin-thick ass of hers.
“You your daddy’s little girl/but you’s a
grown lady/I don’t see you how he see you/cuz we not related”
Is Gucci
Mane going to publish an article in a scholarly journal sometime soon? “So That’s
Why I Don’t Like My Daughter Like That: Biology 101 Explained by Gucci Mane.” You
can accuse him of assault, you can accuse him of murder – no really you can – but
you can’t accuse him of incest.
“I swear I’m scared of that bitch ‘cause
her pussy too good”
I’m scared
of bitches for many reasons but this isn’t one of them. Is this not a real
thing to be scared of or am I just white?
“She call my phone I hit decline/And I ain’t
fine with fuckin’ textin’”
Things Gucci
Mane is Okay With: 1) Aggravated Assault, 2) Face Tattoos
Things Gucci
Mane is Not Okay With: 1) Good Pussy, 2) Fuckin’ Textin’
“My ride or die bitch gone and I miss my
boo/I ride by you in the coupe fuck I miss my roof”
#firstworldproblems
“Gucci Maine keep pulling up in darkly
painted cars/Dropped the top on your bitch, now she lookin at the stars”
Okay he
found a new boo and the convertible’s cool again.
“Spin the globe, every point I’ve been
there/I went platinum in Australia”
A very
random line, made even more random by the fact that it’s the last line in the
verse of the song. “You don’t talk to me like that, I went platinum in
Australia!” All I can think about is an argument at Gucci Mane’s dinner table,
a la Will Ferrell’s “I drive a Dodge Stratus!”
“And I’m in the club sleepin’ cause that
lean got me trippin’/And I smoke an ounce with it, plus I’m on the mollies”
Okay, maybe this line needs some context. This is from the 13th track, “Muddy,” and the “lean” he is
speaking of is a drink containing a shitload of codeine syrup. So there you go.
Sounds like an awful night.
“Go with my pistol in my hand and went and
took a piss”
Also sounds
dangerous.
“I go to the strip club just to relax”
Well good
for you. I go to the strip club and have a panic attack because I have $27 on
me and it’s $8 beer night and strippers look at me like I've murdered one of their six kids when I say no to giving them $50 to put their legs around my mouth.
“First of all I can’t trust no woman/So
baby leave, all my bitches take off like Bessie Coleman”
If you know
who Bessie Coleman is, congratulations. I had to look her up. She was the first
female pilot of African-American descent! So that line is kind of hilarious,
right? You can just picture a fed-up Bessie Coleman saying something like "Oh, my pussy's too good for you, Gucci Mane?" before flying off in her plane because she's sick of his shit and she can. But when you hear how she died – she was thrown from her plane at 2,000
feet – it becomes a little less funny. Too soon, Gucci Mane, TOO SOON.
Grade: D
now I actually want to listen to this, hmmm...
Terrible review lol absolutely dreadful
gucci mane is a successful black singer in the hip-hop world music genre in this album on 3 berinama Trap house, some duet songs with top singers from abroad
This review is a joke. Less a review, all this so called writer is doing is bagging on gucci mane.
Writer of this article dont know shit.. Especially about Gooch smh shut up and listen to writings on the wall
Whoever wrote this shit clearly doesn't understand how Gucci speaks because Whoever wrote this doesn't know the fuckin lyrics. Step your game up before you bash a boss, bitch.