The other night, I had a discussion with a friend about our first concerts. Her first show was an embarassing boy band whose name I shall not reveal, for sake of reputation. My first show was Nirvana, a group that I take a certain pride in seeing, not only because it was my first show, but because it was also their last tour. I remember vividly the dark ambiance of that sweaty auditorium; the strange looking people with piercings and tattoos (I was 11). Most of all, I remember the power of those soundwaves, the weight of the music, and the passion in which it was conveyed; three musicians who truly believed in what they were doing. I was floored.
And then it hit me. That show was twenty years ago, November of 1993 to be exact. Where does the time go?
It seems like it was only a few years back that my life was changed by "grunge" or alternative rock, or whatever you want to call it. Groups like Nirvana, Stone Temple Pilots, and Alice in Chains were my first taste of rock'n'roll, at least on any meaningful level, and I was completely captivated by it. Through the years, my tastes have grown and I've developed an affinity for punk, electronic music, hip hop, and more traditional forms of music. Alternative rock has always been my foundation though and lately I've been thinking about this period of time and how it informed who I am today.
Most of all, I find myself amazed that some of my favorite albums are nearly two decades old. Nevermind came out 22 years ago, while Green Day's Dookie and Weezer's Blue Album will be twenty next year. These albums are now considered relics and have that "classic" tag ascribed to records that have stood the test of time. I remember them as fresh, new releases. Which leads me to this thought...
I can't explain the feeling of yesterday. At times, it seems so distant, like I was a whole other person altogether and I'm looking back on someone else's life. Other times, I'm right there. At the concert. In the moment. And it feels like I'm more connected to that time than the present. But it was sooooo long ago!
Time is a funny thing. Before you know it, the world has flown by and you're older, and the music you loved is no longer "cool", "interesting", or even "relevant". I'm only 31 and I'm already starting to feel this way. Consider this. Most of today's early twenty-something's weren't even born when Kurt Cobain committed suicide. He has now become our generations John Lennon; a mystical figure to the young-ins and a cultural spokesperson for those who were there, living it at that moment. The irony is that you'll never get that moment back, and we are no longer so young. And those young people who ARE living it are either too preoccupied or oblivious to care. Youth truly is wasted on the young.
Rivers Cuomo once said "the world has turned and left me here". Sometimes I'm apt to believe that.
Well...back then you feel music more strongly. No one understands you except the music you listen to. Emotions are stronger. Your skin is thinner. We'll always love the music from when we're younger...press play on those songs and you're transported back there...not totally but kind of. A little bit.
JOHN LENNON WAS ASSASSINATED.
KURT COBAIN WAS DESTROYED BY MORE SUBTLE MEANS.
WHO'S NEXT?
Its great to have the nostalgia to look back on, to reflect on how one's own individual tastes have changed, were influenced or stayed the same and how potent musical connections have had a hand at shaping your sense of self.