THIS JUST IN: DRAKE WRITES SONGS ABOUT LOVE 'SHAKE AND BAKE,' RELATIONSHIP BAGGAGE, BUT RESENTS 'EMOTIONAL RAPPER' LABEL...STILL

A few months ago, Drake sat down with Canadian broadcaster Jian Ghomeshi of CBC Radio and broke it down for the people: “I’m so sick of people saying that I’m like lonely and emotional, and associating me with this like longing for a woman,” he explained. “I hate that, it bothers me so much…’cause I do make music that makes you feel something, but I’m actually not that guy in real life, I’m happy…I’m very excited, my life is constantly exciting, it’s not some sad depressing story.” He went on to say that, “As far as the soundscapes go,” Drake continued, “That’s just the music I chose to make. I make music strictly for the purpose of driving at night time.”

I’m sure by now you’ve seen the plethora of memes on Facebook, and the websites dedicated to their creation--Drake holding random baby, Drake striking a model pose, Drake hunched down against a wall with big brown puppy dog eyes, Drake forlorn. Accompanying each photo is some sort of emotionally mocking, tongue-in-cheek quote action. All I can say is...haters gon' hate. But I'm a hater, and I love to hate to love Aubrey Graham, because, he's made a fortune off of being the "soft guy." But in a world of gimmick-ruled hip hop, isn't everyone going "soft" nowadays? Drake is one of the few "newcomers" who has at least managed to maintain the same image over the course of his success (Hopefully he isn't mentored by Snoop Dogg who "found the light" all of a sudden and became Snoop Lion or P.Diddy who went through like, five name changes and just continues to hop on other artists' steezes instead of stitching out his own). Who doesn't love a kid in a wheelchair. What woman radio listener is going, "He cared too much and shit!" No woman, I have yet to meet, anyway (though I'm sure they still exist).

Negativity initially poured in from the masculine hip hop perspective, because pride is something to be cherished--they're all keeping up on who's getting the most ego boosts per day and who's crown jewels are getting polished by which video vixen at the moment. Which brings me to another question: how does one acquire "street cred" in the industry, is it meaningless within the scene now, with all the Tygas running around making pop tracks with Justin Bieber figures and Mileys shaking their ass next to Mike-Will-Made-It and Juicy J? It just seems like an overly obvious route to take in order to increase numbers. It's clear that, today in mainstream hip hop, you need a game plan. One can't rely on talent alone; you must have a back story, an oddity, a controversy.

Drake has all of the above. You also must stay current on all new trends, hip hop and non-hip hop alike, or you will get devoured. Hip hop has made it's way into all aspects of private and public life, from lingo to dress to movies to philosophy and mannerisms. People on the outskirts yearn for that very street cred that has been lost within the scene. It's the cross-genre chameleon transcending racial and socioeconomic boundaries, a force twerked forward by singers like Miley Cyrus. And the hip hop world embraced her. It is the new dirty pop; it fits into whatever context/trend relevant at the moment. The genre's reputation has undergone several face lifts over the years, and so has its mainstream fan base. With the idea of "street cred" out the window,the line of distinction has faded. If all hell is breaking loose, why can't Drake continue to shed a tear or two in a song without people accusing him of "emasculating" the entire game? Leave Aubrey alone!

I wanted to reflect on this whole Drake meme craze that has been going strong on the internet for about two or three years now. And by "reflect" on I mean make fun of...for funsies. Nothing more, nothing less. These “Drakeisms” have been going on since 2011/2012 (Complex mag’s got 15 hilarious ones right here). Drake memes also made it to the number 15 spot on Complex’s list of Biggest Internet Sensations of 2013 (Miley Cyrus makes the number two spot, that’s a post in itself (I could name the top five twerk incidents that should never happen in public again. She would be on the list, not because she shouldn't do it, but because she's doing it wrong, but shall refrain). I decided to play around with the "Drakeism" thing myself. I have no meme powers, but I DO have an indulgent mind, and Drake just happens to be my muse of the minute. I therefore posed the question to fellow hip hop friends: can you feed my Drake habit and send me your corniest, emotionally nauseating Drake bars? Responses did not flood in (Guess "street cred" matters in the underground of talent (Lil Wayne doesn't count, already checked). My really good writer friend, however, was all for it (We share this Drake meme fetish...and a love for the outlandishly spontaneous). She was totally down for some senseless fun. And so it started off as a battle of girl-on-girl wit:


She came with a second round of heat seconds later:


A random Facebook scroller was astounded by our amazing Drake lyric quick draw and blasted us away with his social commentary:


We were so damn hyped we just couldn't help but drag some local rapper elites into the whole deal...Chaotik Stylz goes in...#CYPHER!!!!:


After a few exchanges it was evident, that, one really can't take Drake too seriously. He's as soft as a snuggie (And knows quite a lot about feminine hygiene products):


BUT THEN Kevin "Frigid Giant" Delgado smacked us in the face with a more realistic portrayal of the rapper in song, a verse Drake himself would be highly proud of, and could actually use:


I suppose if Drake cared about street cred, he could toughen up his image, zipper up into a deadmua5 suit and start twerking on stage at the Country Music awards, which would arouse excitement in any and every country artist who has ever had the devil on their shoulder taunting them into incorporate a rhyme or two in one of their songs. Hey, Drake's all for it (#streetcred). But he's doing him right now...



Last name Ever, first name Greatest, like a sprained ankle boy, I ain't nothin' to play with, started off local, but thanks to all the haters I know G4 pilots on a first name basis, UH