Childish Gambino - “Centipede”
If you’ve got forty seconds to spare listening to Gambino wail unintelligibly over the sound of dogs barking, you’ll discover there’s actually a dope song waiting to reward your patience. Donald Glover will be a love him or hate him rapper literally until the end of time, and fifteen years from now it’s going to be so exciting to witness the arguments born out of that premise when Community is airing in syndication on Nick at Nite. The first person who says they loved “Freaks and Geeks" will get a drink thrown on them and forfeit control of the television.
But let’s go back to that first forty seconds. Does Donald Glover’s voice naturally infuriate animals? Perhaps the barking represents the haters on the internet, and Gambino’s singing is his way of telling them he ain’t never gonna stop. Maybe it’s a field recording from the middle of an animal prison during his latest One Night Only concert engagement for wayward and lonely creatures of poor moral constitution. There are so many possibilities someone could write a thesis on this shit.
However, I’m still deducting points for calling the song “Centipede” and not once subverting the well-known Human Centipede concept by rapping about threesomes for seven straight minutes.
RJD2 - “Her Majesty’s Socialist Request”
Instrumentals all day. RJD2, best known to folks everywhere as the fella’ who made Mad Men worth watching before the opening credits were even finished, decided to go and do this for all of you. I hope you’re happy.
In a perfect world, this would be used as the theme music for a Mad Men spin-off following Don Draper’s daughter Sally doing every drug in the world during the 70s and 80s. Doesn’t even matter that it won’t happen. I’m already watching it in my mind.
More Is Than Isn’t, Mr. D2’s follow-up to that last one he did, will be out at some point. October 8th, probably. But you know how they lie!
Action Bronson - “Water Sports”
Flushing, Queens’ favorite fat boy and rap game Dom DeLuise is back to talk about sex again. Be advised, when he repeatedly mentions dunking on former 7’2” NBA center Dikembe Mutombo, he’s lying. Maybe that’s a dealbreaker, I don’t know.
For a track called Water Sports this song is surprisingly light on R Kelly references, but if you want to imagine this guy totally naked getting laid on the regular, cheers, this one’s for you.
E-40 feat. Danny Brown & Schoolboy Q - “All My Niggas”
This track’s only contribution to the cultural zeitgeist is somehow managing to be incredibly obnoxious and also kind of good at the same time. I am also reminded that Danny Brown’s XXX follow-up Old, and Schoolboy Q’s Oxymoron, still haven’t been released. I am now passing that sad news on to you, dear reader, so that you can share in my pain.
E-40’s been around just this side of forever, and is probably even old enough to have been in the same room as Tupac at some point. Good for him, I guess, but we all know you should be listening to this track for the featured artists. They both sound totally pissed.
Straight Dope will return next week. Let’s hope Kanye West does something stupid before then.
The column is a little short this week. Nice to see you back in business though.
How you going to diss E-40? That's like shittin' on Biggie or Pac.