Action Bronson feat. Wiz Khalifa - “The Rockers”
The most profound thing about this song is the threat of a Marty Jannetty dropkick. I don’t know who made Action Bronson angry enough to conjure up such terrible imagery, but I would not want to be in his shoes. He probably heard this song and left the country. I wouldn’t be surprised if Bronson got fined for this. You can’t just go around threatening people with violence so extreme in nature.
As you well know, Mr. Jannetty is formerly one half of the Greatest Tag Team duo in WWF history, The Rockers. He and his partner Shawn Michaels would never officially win the title during their three year run together, but whenever they shared the ring they put on a tag team wrestling clinic. Their relationship would eventually end, of course, and Jannetty would find himself exiled from the WWF for many years after beating up a cop. We'll probably never know if he deployed his signature move, the Rocker Dropper, or nailed the officer with a devastating dropkick, but I can't see any reason why he wouldn't have.
Did I know any of that before I heard this track? No. Am I sorry to know it now? Yes. But only because I realized I’ve been living a shell of a life for not giving Mr. Jannetty and his dropkicking prowess the proper respect. I wish he was on this track himself. But hey, Wiz Khalifa! He's a rapper! Suppose I ought to have mentioned that at some point.
Bronson’s Saab Stories EP is out June 11th.
Run The Jewels - “36” Chain”
I don’t have a 36” chain, so I don’t know what that feels like. I do know that this track is an absolute banger and El-P and Killer Mike are killing it 24/7 at this stage in their careers. I guess I don’t really know if that’s true, I suppose they could spend their downtime drinking lemonade while putting together jigsaw puzzles, but I just realized as I was writing this that drinking lemonade and doing puzzles is awesome. Like I said, killing it.
"36” Chain" is brought to us through the Adult Swim Singles Program, which runs every June in collaboration with their affiliated label Williams Street Records. Snatch it up at adultswim.com and check back every Monday for a new track all summer long.
Mr. Muthafuckin’ eXquire - Kismet Mixtape
The first track on Kismet opens with a sample from the Sega Genesis classic Altered Beasts and continues with eXquire reflecting on his troubled upbringing, his fear of losing his mother as a child, the decision to talk about guns for amusement without the intention of using them for violence, and the image of his dick floating in a bubble bath. I can do no further convincing.
Download Kismet at Audiomack.
Wu-Tang Clan - “Family Reunion”
I held my head in my hands until I heard the RZA outro the song and slipped into unconsciousness. When I awoke, the name Russell Jones had been scratched into the floorboards beside me.
Wu-Tang Clan - “Family Reunion”
After I listened to "Family Reunion" for the third time, I became acutely aware of a strange creeping discomfort making its way up my spine. I had noticed it before but dismissed it, after all, there was a new Wu-Tang song in my headphones. As this feeling intensified, the lyrics became clearer in my mind, and I had to brace myself from slipping into a terrible frenzy as I heard Masta Killa spit about barbecuing and chasing potato salad with shots of 40 proof Ciroc while kids played happily around them.
I was powerless to untangle my thoughts, so powerful was the rage and confusion clasped about me, dragging me beneath the waves of hysteria. What the hell was he saying? These dudes made 36 Chambers! Someone slap him! Get him away from that mic!
I threw down my headphones and paced over to my window. Throwing back the curtains and pushing open the glass, I shouted profanities into the night. This track had broken me. It was so unapologetically, thoroughly feel-good that it made me question my own capacity for love. I pressed my fingers to my throbbing temples and took a seat on the floor. I could hear the muffled O’Jays sample seeping into the ether from my headphones and openly wept. What had Method Man said? Reunited, the whole world excited? Excited. Homie wore gasoline boots in hell, now that was exciting. This was toxic.
I held my head in my hands until I heard the RZA outro the song and slipped into unconsciousness. When I awoke, the name Russell Jones had been scratched into the floorboards beside me.
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